


14 Years to say I Love You

by Fandoms_ruined_me123



Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU (Comics)
Genre: Angst, Barbara Gordon in a Wheelchair, Beta read by my fantastic friend Lise, Blood and Injury, Canon-Typical Violence, Canonical Character Death, F/F, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Grief/Mourning, Hospitalization, Hurt/Comfort, Mental Health Issues, Minor Dinah Lance/Oliver Queen, Multi, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-27
Updated: 2020-06-27
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:08:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24950602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fandoms_ruined_me123/pseuds/Fandoms_ruined_me123
Summary: Also known as five times Barbara Gordon fell in love with Dick Grayson and one time she realized it.
Relationships: Barbara Gordon/Dick Grayson, Pamela Isley/Selina Kyle/Harleen Quinzel
Comments: 1
Kudos: 25
Collections: The GUG Cinematic Universe





	14 Years to say I Love You

**Author's Note:**

> Ok so this is something I have been working on for a very long time and I am super excited to share it with you guys! I absolutely love being part of the au and I just wanted to take a second to say how much I appreciate everyone in the au for being so supportive and understanding. I was really scared to post this to be completely honest but their encouragement gave me the final boost of confidence to do it so here it is! I also wanted to take another moment to appreciate all of you who help the au keep running! From leavings asks to even just liking something, it means so much to us and I love every one of you <3 Enjoy!!!

1

“Ok Barbara remember,”

“Don’t pull at my dress, smile at the people, and don’t get into the ethics of minimum wage with the important people again,” She rehearsed, crossing her arms and glaring at her dad through the seat separating them. 

“Yes please don’t do that last one. I was answering questions about why my eleven-year-old had such strong opinions on minimum wage and how the large corporations treat their employees,” Glancing behind to look at her in the rearview mirror before turning his eyes back to the road. Drumming his fingers slightly on the steering wheel as he turned the corner and pulling into the driveway. She looked at the large mansion ahead of them. The large house spilling out over the grounds. Stretching out like a cat in the sun as the edges of the house almost seemed to curl inward on themselves. She must have counted at least three floors as she observed the building ahead of her. She Staring out the window as they drove past the beautiful hedges that lined the gravel road, cutting straight through the perfectly manicured lawn before reaching the house.

Pulling to a stop, she slowly unbuckled her seatbelt, sighing and straightening her dress out before accepting her dad's hand out of the car. Her shoes hit the gravel softly as she jumped to the ground. Taking in the warm summer air around her. The faint smell of the rain from earlier today and the sound of the cicadas singing, something she had rarely heard from living in the city. The lights streaming out of the doors and windows illuminating the gravel path up to the house. Hesitantly she followed behind her dad as they walked up the path to the almost garish entryway. He turned around slightly to take her hand before walking up to the doors. 

Immediately, once they stepped into the house, everything changed. Instead of the tranquil night air, the room seemed almost packed with people. The light reflecting off of champagne flutes, jewelry, and the chandeliers dangling from the ceiling. Men in dark suits were talking amongst themselves as women in dresses that could pay their rent slowly wandered around in the room. Taking in the ambiance and stopping to talk to each other, commenting on business ventures and recent scandals. Babs watched anxiously as she watched the women walk, with every step almost looking as if they would tip over from their high stilettos. 

“And this is?” A feminine voice throwing her out of her observations, her head snapping up to see a woman looking over from her conversation with her dad. Slowly she stepped towards the woman, her sleek dress hugging every seemingly perfect curve and her dangling earring reflecting the light. She seemed to fit in almost perfectly with the other socialite women but something about her seemed...different. From the way that she held herself, confident but not pompous, smug but not overbearing. For some reason, every hair on her seemed to stand on edge. From her father's attempt to mask his concern, his public facade almost seems to be in a fight for dominance between his officer one. To the woman’s eyes, that seemed to spark with a fire that she couldn’t exactly pin down.

“Ms.Kyle, this is my daughter Barbara, Barbara Ms.Kyle. She is a friend of Bruce’s,” He said, walking over slightly to place a hand on her shoulder, almost protectively. 

“Nice to meet you,” She said, glancing up at her dad in slight confusion before bringing her attention back to the lady in front of her. Her eyes caught once again on her earring. The silver mettle intertwining with beautiful emeralds. 

“It’s fine to meet you too. Do you like them?”

“Come again?” 

“My earrings, I noticed you looking at them,” She said, bringing a hand up to her ear gently. “I actually collect jewelry, it's sort of a hobby of mine,”

“I can remember so many times when you dragged me out to the store because they got new jewelry,” A loud voice said from over Ms.Kyles’ shoulder, peaking slightly around them she could people slightly parting around them. Leaving enough room for the enigmatic and infamous Bruce Wayne as he approached them. 

“In my defense, it was a whole new collection coming in from South Korea and that was one time,” 

“Still happened, and Jim, it’s good to see you,”

“What are you doing out here Bruce? You hardly ever actually show up to these events!” Her dad exclaimed, his eyes still trailing the woman as she blended into the crowd.

“You’d be surprised, people don’t typically notice if I come but they sure notice if I don’t,” He said smiling, “Hey Barbara,”  
“Hi, Bruce!”

“I think Dick is around here somewhere, you two have met before right?” She watched smiling slightly as he looked around, scanning the room intently, “Dick!” He called out slightly as he spotted the boy standing up against the wall and conversing intently with an investors wife. 

“Yes?” He said as he bounced over to Bruce.

“What were you doing?”

“Well, you said that Mr. Mitchleson was planning on selling his shares of Wayne Enterprises. But, him holding stocks is very good for the company and we have to be very careful about who buys the shares. So I thought that I would just pick up a conversation with his wife,” He said almost anxiously, holding his hands behind his back.

“About?” Bruce asked, almost hesitant, bringing a hand up to his forehead. 

“Nothing bad! I had just heard that she really liked the Czech Republic, she has visited multiple times in the past year and we had toured a couple times before!”

“In an attempt to win over his wife so that they would keep their shares?”

“Yup!” Dick exclaimed with an almost maniacal smile pasted onto his face, anxiety fading as Bruce looked down in an almost resigned awe.

“I swear this kid is a natural at this, it's almost scary,” Bruce said, dropping his voice so that only they could hear.

“Well, now you know what you used to be like, except you were much more direct about it,” Jim responded cheekily as Bruce sighed.

“I supposed this is my retribution, anyways I have some board members to talk with. Dick, would you mind hanging out with Barbara here for a little while?”

“To keep me out of trouble?” He groaned.

“Would you rather stay with me and discuss finances?” 

“Fine fine, have fun with your board members,” Dick said looking down as Bruce leaned over placing a comforting hand on his shoulder before turning and walking into the crowd. Babs watched enthralled as she watched his entire demeanor change. Long gone was the relaxed and exasperated single father of a hyper child. Now, what replaced it was a smooth charismatic businessman. She always loved to watch him change his personas, it was like watching a cat morph into a dog. Horrifying but captivating.

“Do you mind Babs, and he could use a friend, he’s doing an amazing job with adjusting but he could always use someone to talk to” Her dad asked, his eyes scanning the crowd as he dropped his voice.

“I don’t mind, go suck up to some rich people,” Smirking as her dad glanced down at her with a slight disapproving glare before smiling in return and turning to join the others in the room. They stood for a little bit, both looking around the room. She noticed him taking in almost everything about the room in awe. “Is this one of your first parties?”

“If that’s what you could call this, then yes,” 

“I don’t like them, I have to wear this stupid dress and stand awkwardly on to the side while my dad talks to the important people,” Fluffing up the edges of her dress in frustration. Dick, stared at her for a second almost as if he was trying to figure her out before smiling widely. The same fire that she had earlier seen in Ms. Kyle’s eyes now appearing in his. 

“Do you want to leave?”

“What?”

“Do you want to leave, get out of here,” He asked, almost running his words together as he dipped his voice anxiously, gesturing his hands around the room, “I don’t mean, like, leave the building, but just get out of here. They didn’t exactly tell us what to do, and they definitely didn’t tell us what not to do,” 

“I guess…”

“Listen, we’ll stay in the house. I’ve been here before so I know where everything is. Or at least for the most part,” She glanced around the room anxiously before looking back at him. The anxiety was gone and replaced with excitement. 

“Don’t like these things anyways,” Smiling, he reached out grabbing her hand and slipping through a doorway to their right. She scanned through the room to only see a pair of businessmen talking in hushed voices to their right, but besides them, the room was practically empty. Gesturing with his free hand as he popped open a small door with his other hand. Looking at the businessmen anxiously as she slowly slipped behind the opened door. 

“Where are we going?” She whispered as they walked through the brightly lit hallway. He turned his head to answer but then suddenly pulled her out of the way, yanking her into a small room. As she opened her mouth to protest he quickly pressed a finger to his lips. Nodding slightly to the hallway where two voices were now flowing out of. They stood in the dim lighting as they waited for the voices to fade away.

“Host and Hostess of the gala,” He whispered, dipping his head out into the hallway before signaling for her to follow. “And we are looking for somewhere far enough out of the way that we don’t have to worry about any people,”

“And you’re not scared of getting lost?”

“Nah, I’ve done this before. And you don’t seem too scared either,”

“Dad always said I have a good memory,” Pausing he looked at her, almost as if reevaluating an assumption, “You’re not going to question me on that? Quiz me? What color were Ms. Kyle’s earrings?”

“Grew up in the circus, I’ve seen weirder things. Plus what’s the point of asking a question you already know the answer to?” Slowly as they walked the white noise of the gala faded into nothingness, the only sound coming from the soles of their shoes as they crept through the halls. Turning corner after corner as she mentally plotted out the path they had taken. Finally, Dick peaked his head through a doorway and signaled for her to follow, when instead of continuing to walk he suddenly stopped. Craning his head up to the wide arched ceilings high above. A large chandelier casting light around the room and up the large velvet staircase leading up to the second story. 

“Where...are we?” She asked, her voice bouncing off the walls as she looked around the room in awe.

“Back entrance to the house, closed off to guests. Not very well but still closed off…” Hesitantly she walked up the staircase, delicately placing a foot on the first step like she was scared to ruin it. “You can take your shoes off, they can’t be that comfortable,”

“They aren’t,” Babs groaned, leaning down quickly to slide her feet out. “I only have to wear them to things like this and they hurt,”

“Do you have any others you could wear?”

“I have other shoes but none I could wear something like this. I only have them because Dad practically forced me to go shopping! If someone gave me them I wouldn’t mind but there is no way that I am going out of my way to get them,” She stated as he bent down to untie his. 

“I get that, why go shopping for something you don’t like anyway! So Barbara what do you like?”

“Well, I like computers? My dad took me to this coding class and I guess I’ve just been messing around with that for a while. What about you?”  
“Well, I grew up in a circus so I love anything with gymnastics. I used to do the trapeze,” He said emotion clear in his voice as his eyes tranced the ground.

“That’s really cool,” She said casually, despite not to upset the boy further, “Do you still practice?”

“Yeah, Bruce got me a trapeze to practice with although Alfred doesn’t like it when I use the chandelier to practice,” 

“The chandelier? Why the chandelier?” She asked laughing.

“Well for one it looks cool! And it's a lot of fun, in fact…” He trailed off as he brought his eyes up to the chandelier above them.

“No,” She breathed out, already smiling.

“Yes,” Looking around to scan the whole room as he craned his head up to examine the ceiling. Scanning the walls around him as she walked up the stairs, plopping herself down onto the steps as she watched him intently. Suddenly he turned to face her, a mischievous smile spreading quickly across his face as he walked over to the stairs. “Watch this,”

As he reached the top of the stairs he hesitantly placed his hands on the railing, swinging his leg over until he was pressed up the railing. His arms wrapped around the railing to keep himself from falling. Hesitantly he stretched his leg out, trapping the ledge in front of him, careful to not tip off the potted vine dangling off the edge. Quickly and seemingly without a second thought, he lunged forward. Throwing himself onto the ledge and grabbing onto the decorative designs carved into the wall. She watched intently as he scampered across the wall. Hopping and jumping from platforms and architectural designs to the next, looking like one of the small birds hopping around the sidewalk or around the few trees in the city. 

Finally, as he finished clambering around the wall, he looked at her and smiled before lunging through the air. She felt her air leave her chest as he seemed to fly through the air with ease. His hands outstretched as he lunged towards the chandelier. Soaring right below it he reached his hands above his head as he grasped onto the chandelier, it swinging and clattering around as he curled up and swung his feet up. Curling his legs around the dangling crystals with ease as he swung his body up on top of the chandelier. Pausing as it swung back and forth, gripping onto the curved silver metal to keep himself from falling off. As the swinging subsided he pushed up on his legs hesitantly, putting his arms out to steady himself as he stood up slowly. The smile still on his face.

“Tada!”

“You’re out of your mind!” She exclaimed, jumping to her feet and running up to the top of the staircase to attempt to reach his height. 

“Maybe, or maybe I’m just incredibly talented,” 

“Talent has nothing to do with it! What if someone walked in right now?” She said stubbornly, her body language screaming that she was angry or upset, but the large smile on her face giving her away. 

“Like who? Janet Drake?”

“Exactly! Like Janet Drake, you know she is always waiting for a reason to hate someone,”

“Yeah, but what could she do about it? Climb up here to get me down?”

“I’m imagining her leaning off of the ledge over there with a broom, trying to knock you down like a spider,” Dick stared at her for a second before bursting out in laughter. The anxious boy from earlier that evening was gone and replaced with laughter. His laugher bounced off of the walls, almost seeming to warm her to the core until she couldn’t help but laugh as well. Looking up through the tears of laughter almost threatening to pour down her face she watched as he stumbled a bit. Holding his side and clutching onto the silver chain as he continued to laugh. 

“One second, I...oh my god,” He slowly sank to the edge of the chandelier.

“Don’t fall!”

“Barbara, am I under couches?” He asked frantically, the chandelier starting the sway back and forth as he grabbed onto the edge to keep himself from falling. Quickly she ran down the staircase, taking the steps two at a time before she reached the hardwood floor below him. Trying to gauge the difference between him and the chairs below him.

“Yeah, I think. Ok just, uh, fall on the couch?” She offered, looked up concerned. Placing a hand over her mouth to attempt to muffle her laugher. She watched as he struggled to his feet, placing his arms out attempting to steady himself before he tipped. She watched in horror as he flipped in the air as he plummeted down, crashing down to the ground below. Quickly she gave the couch in front of her a heavy shove, attempting to break the boys fall. Suddenly he hit the couch with a loud crunch, she looked down to see the couch seeming to splitter beneath him.

“Are you alright?” She said hesitantly, moving slowly over to the boy. Panic rushed through her as she looked over the boy laying in a ball on the couch. Watching in horror as he shook, tears streaming down his face. Slowly he looked up at her, a smile spreading across his face as he continued to laugh. Laughs wracking his body as he laid on the couch. Sitting back on the ground, not even noticing as her dress rode up around her knees, she began to laugh again. 

Suddenly the door to the entryway slammed open with a bang, the door ricocheting off the walls as the noise echoed through the room. She looked up suddenly as her dad, Bruce, and a very amused Selina Kyle entered the room. Her Dad stopped, cars crossed as he surveyed the scene in front of him. From the swinging chandelier to her shoes sitting forgotten on the steps and the splintering couch.

“What? I...what happened here?” He exclaimed, waving his hands around in confusion and exasperation. Bruce’s eyes flickered up to the chandelier before looking down at Dick sitting up looking a little worse for the wear.

“I think I know,”

“Well come on, its time to go home. Especially before any more property damage ensues,” Slowly she rose to her feet, walking over to the steps to retrieve her shoes.

“Don’t worry Jim, Ill handle any expenses. We should be glad that it wasn’t worse and that no one got hurt,” Bruce said, a slight smile threatened to pull at his frown as he watched Dick roll of the couch and run over to them.

“You know,” Ms.Kyle smirked, leaning her weight onto her right leg. Babs was tempted to squirm under her intense gaze, “I collect all sorts of things along with jewelry. Shoes, purses, accessories, and all. And if you ever need anything don’t hesitate to ask. Actually...there is a necklace that comes to mind. Beautiful yet simplistic. I hardly ever wear it and it would look stunning on you. I’ll get it to you in the next few days, ok? Gentlemen,” Nodding to the adults before winking at Dick before promptly turning on her heel to return to the party. Babs felt her dad’s hand tighten up on her shoulder and as she glanced up to him she saw the scowl that seemed to only appear when Ms.Kyle was around.

“Well, it was nice meeting you Barbara, officially that is,” Dick said smiling as he bent down to put his shoes back on.

“Well if that was the official meeting I’m excited to see what comes next!” Laughing slightly as she felt her dad’s hand start to guide her to the door. Turning she began to walk towards the door before pausing, turning her head to look back over her shoulder. “And Dick?”

“Yes?”

“Call me Babs,”

2

A soft brush dusted across her face as soft hands delicately held the side of her face, lifting up her chin just barely with the tips of his fingers. Softly pulling at the itchy fabric from her dress as it rubs against her legs uncomfortably. The slight twinge of discomfort becoming more present in her back from leaning forward becoming more and more present as the second’s tick past. Wanting so desperately to open her eyes to see what was going on, however, she had already learned her lesson in the form of a brush handle softly to her forehead. 

Hesitantly, she cracked open an eye taking in the surroundings around her. She watched as two intense eyes stared intensely at a spot just above her eyes as a thin brush ran through her eyebrows, spreading colored powder in its path. Suddenly he pulled the brush back, holding it tentatively in his fingers before sitting back. Carefully analyzing her face before smiling and turning to the side to look over the numerous palettes next to him. Slumping backward until she collided with the wall, she watched with a smile as he intensely scoured over the choices in front of him.

“So here’s the thing,” He stated, opening a palette only to throw it back onto the pile in front of him. “I want to do something big, but classy. I was thinking maybe some reds or browns so that excludes these,” He motioned, shoving palettes of various sizes aside delicately, “But do you want to go more matte or do you want something more shimmery?”

“I’m just going to pretend that I understood the words that just came out of your mouth,”

“Babs!” Dick protested, “This is a big deal! Your makeup look can make or break your outfit, and you said that I could do yours so I’m going all out here!” Sighing she looked down, fiddling with the hem of her dress. 

“Why is this even a thing? What is the desire, the excitement surrounding things like this?” She said impatiently as he finally picked up a palette, turning to her once more.

“It’s to make the students feel important, to make some memories. Something besides the constant stress and schoolwork,”

“Oh yes, the stressful life of an eighth-grader from one of the richest families in Gotham,” Scooting forwards she closed her eyes once, attempting to not flinch away from the unfamiliar feeling as a small brush graced across her eyelids. “I mean they get to go to fancy parties all the time so I don’t see why this would be any different!”

“Stay still,” Dick commanded, dipping the brush into the powder once more as he pondered his response. “And you know how those parties are, all the grownups talking about stuff that really doesn’t matter to you and parading you around. Moving from one potential investor to another and trying their hardest to please them all. Besides, what is there to hate about an eighth-grade dance?” A smirk rising up to his lips as a scowl returned to hers.

“Even that name sounds miserable. Think of all the better things we could be doing tonight besides this!”

“I don’t know about you but I’m excited, how else was I supposed to get you to let me do your makeup!” Dick exclaimed excitedly as he moved the brush from one eyelid to the next. “I’m thinking about doing a half-cut crease with a transition from a white gold shimmer to a warm brown. Then buffing up the red...to the brow bone,” His tangent paused as he removed the brush once more, grabbing next to him for a thicker brush and dipping it yet again into the powder.

“I’ll take it that your lessons with Selina are paying off because once again I didn’t understand anything you just said,”

“Sorry,” He said smiling, “And yes, I have learned a lot from her but I can only learn so much if I don’t have other people to practice on!”

“Let me guess, Bruce doesn’t let you practice on him?”  
“You’d actually be surprised, but part of the thing is learning how to do makeup on a lot of different people. Learning how to do it on different face shapes and stuff,” 

“Woah, you can’t just drop the fact that Bruce lets you practice makeup on him and then move on!” She said, grabbing his hand and forcing him to pause.

“Oh did I? My bad?”

“You little brat,” She grumbled fondly, dropping his hand and allowing him to continue.

“So here’s the thing, I was planning on using this one palette that I used to really like but just about a week ago it was revealed that they were selling on mainland China. This may not seem like a big deal but they were advertising themselves as cruelty-free and according to China’s laws, everything sold on mainland China must be tested on animals. So that means they were false advertising their product to people, which is something you can absolutely not do, especially as a well respected and established brand. Also side note their packaging is also super big and bulky and is honestly kind of wasteful. But anyways they are being blacklisted right now and I no longer support them. I didn’t want to use a palette from a brand that I no longer support on you-” As he rambled she felt the brushes disappear from her eyelids only seconds before a small applicator started to spread the product around her lips.

Opening her eyes she watches as he enthusiastically spoke about the different makeup brands and the different controversies that had occurred. She watched as his eyes told a story of their own, how they seemed so full of passion and joy. A story of growth, of pain and sorrow but also one of found family and friends. 

“-Ok and that should be it!” He exclaimed, clapping his hands together and shaking her out of her thoughts. “You can look now,”

Hesitantly Babs pulled her legs over the side of the bed and made her way over to the mirror, straightening out her dress as she walked over to the desk. Grabbing onto the small mirror and taking in a deep breath before lifting it up to her face. As she looked into the mirror she felt the wind leave her lungs. Her lips opened but nothing came out. Her vision was met with almost a different version of herself. One whose face seemed almost sharper, less round and more dramatic. Almost older, in a sense. 

“How do you like it?” Dick asked anxiously from behind her. Slowly she pulled her eyes away from the mirror as she turned to face him. Opening her mouth to respond, she found herself instead rushing forward and wrapping the shorter boy into a tight hug.

“Thank you,” She said, tears beginning to burn her eyes.

“Hey,” He said, pulling away and dabbing softly at her tears threatening to spill over, “It’s the least I could do, and actually I should be thanking you for letting me practice on you. And if not me then who else, your dad? Now let’s go, Alfred is waiting,” Holding out his hand with a smile. Quickly she reached over to grab his hand and with a smile, he began to pull her down the hallways until they reached the main entrance.

“There’s my girl,” Her dad exclaimed with a grin as they reached the top of the stairs, “Ms. Kyle dropped these off for you,” Opening the small bag in his hand and pulling out a pair of small heels. 

“Thanks, Dad!” Pulling her into a tight hug he looked down fondly at her before pulling her slightly away to get a look at her makeup.

“You look beautiful Barbara, go have fun tonight,” With one last hug she took the shoes before heading towards the door. Dick grabbed her hand as they walked out into the cold night air.

“Ready to make an entrance?”

3.

Fill the cup, drink, then set down. The only motion she had done for the past few hours beside grabbing for newspapers or evidence. Her eyes skirted across the miscellaneous files that had been dismantled and strewn across the table. Bags full of evidence lining the edge of the table were threatening to spill over. Slowly she brought the rim of the cup up to her lips once more, fighting back the exhaustion threatening to take her down. Squinting through the dim lighting at the papers in front of her. Three murders in the last month, all the bodies found were dumped in the same place. All within five years of each other and all had near to the same last seen locations. No clear sign of motive or suspects, but there has to be something tying them together. Draining the cup once more before placing it tentatively on the side of the table next to her as the sound of someone knocking on the door shocked her out of her concentration. 

“Hey Babs, it’s me!” Dicks’s voice called out quietly from the hallway. “I saw your lights on and I know you’re up, can you let me in?” Slowly pulling herself to her feet, gripping the table as she stood. Fatigue threatening to take her down. 

“What do you want?” She snapped as she opened the door, the light from the hallway spilling into the dark apartment. 

“Can I come in? I brought cookies!” Holding up a plate piled to the brim with cookies and covered in plastic wrap as he stepped into the apartment not even waiting for a response. 

“Cookies? Come on Dick it’s night...nevermind,” Glancing over at the glowing green numbers illuminating from the microwave. 

“It’s five in the morning, what have you been doing?” He joked, setting the plate down on the counter and walking into the living room before stopping in his tracks. “Babs…”

“I know, I know it looks bad,” She groaned, holding the bridge of her nose slightly, avoiding the glasses that she wasn’t entirely used to yet, and moving forward to organize the papers strewn across the table slightly. “I just really need to solve this case I’ve been working on. He’s been really busy so he gave it to me and I just really need to solve it. This is only the fourth case I have been given to work on alone and I need to prove that I can do it!”

“Barbara,” Dick said softly, placing a hand on her shoulder. “You’ve been working for how many months now? Six? Seven? I know he doesn’t expect you to solve this completely by yourself, that’s why all of us work together. To get different input on things and if you need to you can pass it off to someone else to work on for a little bit. You have nothing to prove,”

“Says you, you’ve been working for how long now? Six? Seven years? You may not have anything to prove but I do! I have to work hard to keep my position!”

“Working hard and working yourself into the ground are two different things. Where’s your dad anyway?”

“He had a late night at the office, needed to wrap some things up for a case,” Babs said, turning away to fill up the coffee pot once more. 

“Well I see where you get it from, and turn that off you look dead on your feet and I doubt you need any more caffeine,” He paused before quickly adding, “I am in no way trying to control your actions and this is just a suggestion,” 

“Good save,” Pouring more into her cup before turning to face him. “Now if you would excuse me I really do need to solve this,”

“And how much progress have you made in the last hour?” Watching her closely as she hesitantly set the cup down, her eyes flickering up to meet his only for a second before she turned them towards the ground. “Ok this is it, we’re leaving. Let’s go,”

“Wait what! Leaving where?” 

“All you need to know is that we will be gone for a couple of days and you’re not allowed to bring any case work with you,” He stated, walking over to the kitchen to grab his coat before standing expectantly by the door.

“I- I can’t! I can’t just leave everything and go because you want me too! We have school on Monday and I haven’t talked to Dad about this and I’m not even packed for a trip like this!” Babs took a step back, stammering over her words in confusion as she continued to clean up the mess of papers. 

“We have school off on Monday for teacher training, we can just buy anything you need, and I’ve already had Alfred talk to your dad,”

“You planned this from the beginning didn’t you!” She accused, pausing and looking up at him in outrage.

“Once I found out what case he had given you I knew that you would stay up for a few nights in a few and attempt to work yourself to death. Sadly taking you away from all of it for the weekend seemed to be the only option,” 

“I presume that no one else will be coming with us? And there is no way that Dad would let me go on a trip with you, alone,” 

“Well,” He started with a smirk, “Alfie may have made it sound like he would be coming along because Bruce is out of town on business. But we all know that he deserves some time to himself every once in a while,” Hesitating as her eyes flicked up from the files, now neatly stacked on top of each other.

“And the case?”

“Well Bruce agreed with me, you have done a great job looking over it so far but there isn’t enough information at the moment. He’s going to do a little bit of digging and when you get back there should be something for you to actually work with!” And with that, she quickly scooped up the files and dashed into her room. Thrusting them under the loose floorboard under her bed before walking out, a smile now present on her face. Quickly Dick reached out and grabbed her hand before taking off. Pulling her down the hallway until they reached the stairs. 

“So, where are we going?” She called out as they jumped down the stairs.

“Defeats the fun!” He responded cheekily, calling over his shoulder as he opened the door and pulled her out into the alleyway. Running over to a car, partly covered from the shadows. Quickly she rushed over to the car, throwing open the door and clambering inside. “Sourpatch kid?” He held out the bag for her to take as he started the engine, “It’s going to be a long ride,”

4.

The bright lights all but attempting to sear into her eyes now seemingly unnoticed. The loud noises of people walking, their shoes colliding loudly with the linoleum tiles now falling seemingly deft on her ears. Her eyes almost seeming to bore a hole into the ground. Her blank, unblinking stare not leaving their spot on the ground that she now had memorized. One tile, approximately twelve inches by twelve inches. One tile, one foot, one scuff mark in the upper hand corner. The light coating of cushion on the cheaply made chair now becoming more and more obvious that it was not meant for long amounts of time sitting in as the cushion turns into something more reminiscent of slabs of wood. The blanket provided by someone whose face she could no longer remember now hanging loosely around her shoulder. At one point she had tried to recall their face but was only faced with a blank panic as their face seemed to be wiped from her mind. Her dad had always told her how lucky she was to have such an amazing, almost perfect, memory. But she soon found herself lacking the energy to even try, and so she gave up, casting the worry it caused into the back of her mind.

The fear of the unknown settling in. If the surgery would work, if he would pull through. Even how long she had been sitting there? Five hours, twenty minutes? Time seemed to blur together in a panic and grief-induced haze. The small remints of her rational side told her it must have only been twenty or thirty minutes since she sat down, since they took him away. But it seemed like years, years of uncertainty and of sitting. The ambulance ride itself seemed to take almost no time at all but she couldn’t even tell how long it had been since then. 

She knew she could always just look at the clock, at least shes sure there is one. But even the thought of raising her head seemed to drain her of energy she didn’t have. She could feel their stares, their whispers. Singling her out as the commissioner’s daughter, singling her out by the label that seemed to control her life. The same label that threatened to tear it all away. 

“Barbara!” Only vaguely aware of her name being called her eyes didn’t leave their position on the ground. Before she knew it a large force was knocking into her, threatening to throw her off balance. Arms wrapped around her like the world depended on it, squeezing her until she could almost feel something. “I came as quickly as I heard,”

“Dick?” Her voice sounding almost alien to her ears. Instead of the stong confident tone she was used to displaying it came out almost a choked whisper.

“Yeah, I’m here Babs,” Pulling away slightly to scan her over quickly. His hands planted firmly on her shoulders as he looked around. Taking in the heavy bags under her eyes, her nails now rubbed raw and raged from digging them into any nearest surface. 

“I… he-” A small choking noise ripped through her through as she recalled the events of the night. Suddenly she was enveloped in his arms again, his hand running through her hair reassuringly. 

“Hey, it’s ok. Now I know your not the biggest fan of hospitals, you ready to go?”

“Go?” She ask quizzical, “Go where, I can’t go home he is still out there and I can’t leave Dad alone here!” 

“He won’t be alone,” A deep voice said softly from over Dicks’s shoulder and she looked up sharply to see familiar eyes looking back at her. “I’ll stay with him and if anything changes I will have Dick drive you back here. But in the meantime, it would be good for you to get out of here for a little bit. Maybe a shower and some sleep? I’m sure Alfred already has the guest bedroom next to Dick’s ready,” 

“I thought we already agreed to just call it her room?” Dick shot back playfully yet with a hint of sadness still prevalent in his voice. Hesitantly she looked over, down the long hallway to the operating room.

“Only if you call the second something changes,” She said firmly, looking at Bruce intently. 

“I will Barbara,” And with that, she slowly pulled herself to her feet. Looking over her shoulder one last time as she walked towards the door. 

Through the winding passages of sterile white walls. Past countless doorways and turning corners upon corners as they made their way through the maze that is the Gotham City Central Hospital. Dicks hand firm around her own as he gently led her towards the exit. Only vaguely aware of the blanket slowly slipping off her shoulder she stepped out of the building. The cold Gotham air cutting through her clothes easily and freezing her to the core. 

Another car ride, another blur in her memory. Car doors opening and closing, quiet music playing the in the background, buildings almost seeming to fly past them. Before she knew it she was opening the door again, stepping out and pulling the jacket that Dick must have given her at some point in the ride. Placing one foot in front of the other as she slowly walked up to the front doors of the massive house. Slowly glancing up to meet Alfreds eyes as he opened the door.

“Ms. Barbara,” 

“Hey Alfred,” Her voice shaking and threatening to crack as she stepped into the house, the warm air already fighting against the cold night breeze. Her eyes shot to the ground as she felt the concerned gaze of the older man looking down at her. Blinking away the tears that threatened to well up for the first time as Dick softly led her up the stairs towards the bedrooms. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Jason standing awkwardly off to the side. Leaning slightly against the side of a doorframe as if he didn’t know exactly what to do. 

“Jay?” Dick said softly, looking over to his younger brother reassuringly. “Could you get my weighted blanket? I think I left it in the kitchen,” Jason nodded quickly, anxious to do something to help he turned and rushed down the stairs.

As she walked into the room Dick flipped on the light before leading her over to the bed. Sitting down on the edge of the bed, sinking slightly into the mattress and looking around the room instinctively. Glancing to the door back to the window and memorizing everything in her way between the two of them.

“Hey, look at me,” The edges of his fingers turning her face to meet his. His eyes staring directly into hers, forcing her to pause her instinctive panicked planning, “You are safe, nothing will happen to you. You are safe,” The tears that had been brimming her eyes for what seemed to be an eternity now spilling over. Her hands shaking slightly as the tears finally began to stream down her face.

“I should have been there!” She sobbed, “I was even in the area, I could have done something! And when I heard on a police’s radio there was a shooting at the station I-” Her voice slowly quieted until nothing else could even come out. Quickly, Dick pulled her into a tight hug. Running his fingers through her hair reassuringly as she found her voice again. 

“And by the time that I got there, it was too late. And I can’t help but think that if I had been a bit faster, maybe I wouldn’t have been able to stop it but I would have at least been able to help,”

“Listen, Barbara, what happened was not your fault. Getting there faster or not would not change the fact that he was surrounded by trained professionals, people whose job it is to help in situations like that,”

“I know,” She broke off as her eyes flashed with a horrifying realization, her mouth split partly open as she slowly brought her eyes up to meet Dick’s, “Maybe I couldn’t but I know a certain bat who could have,”

“Babs-” A soft knocking at the door cut him off. Looking up quickly she saw Jason standing in the doorway, a blanket spilling over his arms. 

“Thanks, Jason,” She breathes out, offering a watery smile. He nodded understandably, handing the blanket to Dick before shuffling out of the room. Closing the door gently behind him. “He seems to be settling in well,”

“Yeah,” Dick said, wrapping the blanket around her shoulders, turning his head to look into her eyes, “You were going to say something?”

“Oh yeah, just think about it, I should have been on patrol. And they said that he had planned this out in advance, even gone out of his way to find the hours that Dad would be in the office. To find out where we live. It was the only chance that he attacked before he was supposed to. But if Batgirl was out there tonight she would have seen that! Been able to stop it!”

“Barbara listen to me, you can not go there. The second you go there you do not come back, not fully. You are not to blame and you can’t change the past. What’s done is done and you must move on with your life! If you don’t the endless possibilities will consume and eventually destroy you,” His voice nearly cracking he whispered out the last word. Slumping against him, the sobs wracking her body as she shook against him violently. 

“I knew him, I trusted him! They worked together for years. He would make me laugh whenever I came to the station as a kid, but he also listened to me. Treated me like an equal, didn’t look down on me like the other officers. But none of that matters anymore, I guess it never mattered to him anyways. I don’t care how much money they offered him, he still threw everything away! And now I can’t even go home because he knows where I live and the job might have required him to take me out as well,” 

“It’s hard to lose someone, no matter the reason,” Pulling out of the hug she pulled her feet up onto the bed, curling up as she turned to face him. The sadness that had once presided in her eyes now filled with anger.

“You just think you know someone but because your last name and some money they could turn all that on its head,” 

“Yeah, last names suck,” He joked, placing a hand softly over hers. Slowly rubbing his thumb reassuringly up and down her hand as he smiled softly, “He’ll be ok, I know he won’t stop fighting. He wants to be there for you, he loves you. Now before we get you cleaned up, how would you feel about some hot chocolate?” 

“Yeah,” She said, clearing her throat, and smiling softly. “I’d like that,”

5.

The first thing Babs felt was confusion. From the second she opened her eyes everyone was hovering around her, hovering over her. Before she even knew where she was they were already hovering. Dick had grasped onto her hand the second she woke up and was yet to let go. Tears streamed down his face as he gently rubbed his thumb back and forth against hers. Her dad had taken up position on the other side, the overturned cup, and the puddle of coffee still lying on the ground from when he first rushed into the room. His eyes desperate, almost feral as he pulled her into a tight hug. Careful to move the around the tubes still attached to her arm.

She saw Bruce sitting in the chair closest to the door. He hadn’t said much but she knew exactly what was running through his head. Now she was just another person he couldn’t save. She saw Alfred sitting next to him, a hand resting on his arm reassuringly. His warm smile muted by the sorrow in his eyes. She saw Kate pacing in the hallway, unsure about whether to enter or not. She saw the potted flowers left by Pamela and a note from Harley that just read ‘I’m sorry,’ She watched as Kate sat down only for her pacing to be taken up by Selina who was even more torn about entering. 

The conversation in the room was limited. Dick has attempted to tell her about something Wally had done but ended up becoming too overwhelmed. INstead option to just sit in silence. Babs knew what they were all waiting for even if they didn’t want to admit it. The doctor had checked in briefly when she had first woken up but only said that there was no conclusive answer and that they were still running tests. No one even had to tell her why. She already knew. From the way she had to pull herself up with her arms, the weights seemed to be attached to her legs and from a basic knowledge of human anatomy. There was no doubt that she would recover, but her spine might not.

The doctor didn’t even have to say anything. Babs watched as she opened the door softly and slowly. How she glanced away from their eyes only slightly, involuntarily. A weight on her shoulders seeming to mess with her posture only slightly. Quickly she glanced over at Bruce only to see his face morphing into a mask of calm and all her suspicions were confirmed.

“I know,” She breathed out, inhaling sharply as she rolled her hands into tight fists, squeezing Dicks hand as she paused before looking up at the doctor. “Is there anything else I should know?”

“No, I’m very sorry, we did all that we could. A nurse should be in here soon with some more information,” As the doctor left the room everything in her sank. The concerned voices rattling around in her head as they slowly turned to static. The room seemed to mesh together as everything in her life slammed to a halt. And for the first time since she woke up, she cried.

The next few days were a blur of condolences, badly hidden tears, and more lab tests with a touch of physical therapy until finally she was discharged. Sitting uncomfortably in her new chair as she found herself craning her neck up to see those around her as she finished signing the papers. And after what had felt like an eternity she found herself sitting in the passenger seat with Dick softly drumming on the steering wheel.

“So where to now?” He asked, pausing to look over at her as he placed the key in the engine.

“What?”

“I said ‘where to now?’ I know you can’t exactly go back to your apartment...but the manor or your dad place is always an option,” 

“No,” She said firmly, “I can’t, I need to do this myself. Going there would just be more pitiful looks and people walking on eggshells,”

“Well do you have a place in mind?”

“Actually yes,” Fumbling around in her jacket pocket before she pulled out a piece of crumpled paper, “Selina got me a place. It’s an old hideout of hers. A clocktower that’s actually an apartment, a penthouse. Practically two full floors actually,”

“Sweet!” DIck exclaimed, “I’m taking it that it’s ready to be lived in?”

“Yeah, furniture and everything. Don’t know how long I’ll actually stay there. However, the rent is really cheap considering its location,” The rest of the drive was spent in a comfortable silence, however, the end proved to be more difficult. Luckily she only smacked her head on the side of the car once. Slowly but surely they navigated their way through the lobby. DIck matching his pace to her shaky movements. Eventually, they made their way to the fifth floor.

“Number... 150, this is it,” She said, grabbing the key from her pocket and opening the door,” What met her eyes was nothing like what she was expecting. The main room was open with minimal yet tasteful furnishings. Dark curtains framed either side of the sliding glass doors that led to a balcony. Slowly she rolled in, making a mental note to thank Selina for the lack of carpets.

“Wow, this is amazing!” Dick exclaimed, walking aimlessly into a side room off to her right.

“It really is,” She agreed before pausing and turning to Dick. “You know that you don’t need to stay here right? I’ll do just fine on my own and I don’t need somebody to protect me,” He walked back into the room frowning. Scanning the room quickly before grabbing a chair and pulling it over.

“I don’t doubt you could for a second, but you don’t need to. I want to help you,”

“Oh, so that’s what this is? Let me guess, did Dad put you up to this? Well, maybe I’m a little tired of ‘help’. I don’t need someone to push me around,” Scowling she returned her hands to the wheels and turned down a short hallway to her right.

“Please, Babs! I do want to help, please don’t shut me out of this! I know you’re hurting but please! I just lost Jason, I can’t lose you too,” His voice trailing off towards the end as she paused. “I know that the hospital wanted to hold you for longer so that you could get used to your uhh, chair. And I also know that you declined. So please, let me help you in any way I can,” Silence filled the room as his final plea dissipated. Slowly she placed her hands back on the wheels and spun herself around. 

“Ok, you can stay. But on my conditions. Don’t step in to help unless I ask for it or I honestly can’t do something. Feel free to leave, I won’t need help every second of the day. And I may need you to continue getting groceries for me. Oh, and one last thing,” she paused before smirking, “I don’t think there is a guest bed yet so you’ll have to sleep on the couch,”

“Deal,” He said laughing before pulling into a more serious tone, “But only if you agree to my terms as well,”

“Which are?”

“Ask for help when you need it. From reaching something to emotional help, I’m here for you. Also, let me let Bruce decorate this apartment. He wants to do something to help,”

“Deal, but I get to pick out what he buys. Tell him the first thing I want is a new weighted blanket, the other one got...sort of ruined,” The images of her blood splattering over the room  
flashed in front of her eyes. His laughter bouncing around the room as her vision began to blur. His smile ingraining itself in her mind as she fell to the floor.

“Understood,” Dicks voice shook her out of her memories, shaking her head slightly as he glanced back up at him. Worry flashing in his eyes before he replaced it with a smile, reaching out to grasp her hand and shaking it firmly. “but you may need to write all of yours down, you came up with a lot,”

“Fine, but the weighted blanket comes first,”

“I believe he’s already ordered it, you know he has everyone he buys them for preferred size and weight memorized?”

“I wouldn’t doubt it,”

This compromise fell apart quickly. See it is easy to agree to something, it is much more difficult to put that into play. The next few days were some of the most difficult Babs had ever faced. From bumping into furniture to the constant dirt on her hands form the wheels. Every day was a constant reminder of the things she could no longer do. She could see Dicks firm resolve to help breathing a little more every day. After all, how can you help someone who doesn’t want to be helped? Every offer for help declined as she struggled through the day. But one can only struggle for so long. On the fourth night, she broke.

“Babs, are you alright?” She didn’t even look up, her eyes still fixated on the small object in her hand. The light from the hallway poured through the now opened door. Sobs wracking through her body as his footsteps drew closer. “What’s...wrong,” his question came out more like a statement as the light illuminated the contents of the box in front of her.

A small yellow bat design facing up from the purple fabric folded neatly into a cardboard box. In her hand lay a small device, faintly transmitting a familiar voice that he could instantly identify as Alfred giving instructions. Quickly he rushed forward, taking the comm from her hand and placing it gently into the box. kneeling down slowly he pushed the box slightly back as he took her hands in his. Tears streamed down her face freely as she looked up at him.

“I’m never going to, never again,” Her voice breaking off into a sob as she scrunched her eyes closed. “I keep wondering when it will be over and I can move on. Wake up as if it’s just a dream. But it’s not, it’s not and it will never go away! I won’t even, everything I’ve worked towards! Just gone, just like that!” Dick reached out, removing his hands from hers and wrapping them around her gently as she continued.

“I have worked my entire life to be something, to do something! And to have that, that monster takes everything away just like that. It’s almost like he’s won,”

“Babs”

“Think about it, he wants to crush the city. In one swoop he took both Batgirl and the commissioner's daughter out. NO matter how much I hate that title it’s still who I am, who I will always be seen as,”

“But he didn’t win! You’re still here with us,”

“Barbara Gordon is,” She spat bitterly, pulling away slightly to look him in the eyes, “but she wasn’t the one who mattered! I could never get anything done with that name! Being a Bat gave me the ability to do something,”

“That might have been true back then, but you were younger. Think about now,” Dick countered, “Yes, the city may know you as Jim Gordon’s little girl, but think about what you could do with that! That last name holds weight, a lot more than you think. You don’t need a suit to make a change, you can do that yourself,” She took a deep breath, attempting to slow her breathing but he still wasn’t done.

“You always talked about wanting to help this city, you can still do that! Your last name can get you into more places than you think, Not only the police precinct but City Hall, the mayor's office. You can get into business meetings and galas if you want to! You may have to rely on your last name for a bit but soon all you will need is your name,” Taking a deep breath he looked back at her, his face a mix of pride and wonder.

“Barbara you are one of the most amazing women I have ever met. Yes, this changes things. But you decide how much. You can let it control you or you can control yourself. Use your gifts to make a difference or not. Just know that no matter what you choose I will be here for you,” She nodded, her eyes that had only moments before held sorrow now were filled with the same fire that she had seen in her eyes at gala all those years ago. 

“Now it’s late, and you should get some sleep. You need the rest. Not trying to control you and this is only a suggestion,” He added, holding his hands up in mock surrender. Babs laughed, her cheeks tight from the tears that had only dried seconds before.

“Ok, night Dick,” With one last reassuring hug he turned to the door, attempting fruitlessly to hide a yawn. She watched as he closed the door behind him before she slouched back in her chair. Once his footsteps disappeared down the hall and into the main room she slowly made her way over to the closest, attempting to move as silently as she could. Looking over the cardboard boxes that had been dropped off by Selina the night before. Glancing over some and focusing in on the ones whose seal had not been broken. Without a second thought, she pulled out her phone, shooting a quick text to Pamela before she glanced towards the door.

“Sorry Dick,” She whispered under her breath before pulling her hair back before getting to work.

When Dick woke up the next morning he knew something was off. The entire floor was silent. No coffee pot running or the sound of Babs moving around. Quickly he glanced over at his phone to check the time which only added to his fears. 10 am, too late for Babs to still be sleeping. Throwing his blanket off he shot to his feet, sprinting to her bedroom only to find it untouched. Her bed is still the same from last night. And by the same, the pillows were still strewn around the room and the blankets crumpled up by the foot of the bed. 

As he frantically pressed the button for the elevator to go to the top floor every fear crossed his mind. The thought of her being taken by...him flashing through his head like an emergency light as he stood impatiently waiting for the elevator. After about two seconds he abandoned it and rushed up the stairs. Albeit, slower this time.

“ Babs, you scared the shit out of me…” Turning the corner to the open room he trailed off, looking around in confusion. “What is all of this?”

The once empty room was now full. Miscellaneous boxes and styrofoam strewn across the floor, yet somehow forming a circle of clean floor around the curved row of desks. Large computers sat stacked up on top of the desk, all surrounding a large screen in the middle. Not unlike the ones in the Batcave. The computer emitting a strange green glow from the lines for code being entered in. And sitting in the middle of everything was Babs. Slowly she turned around, her hair pulled into a messy ponytail and a smile stretched across her face.  
“You said I should use my gifts, and that I didn’t need a suit to make a difference. So here I am,”

“I meant negotiating and working with public figures! But babs is this...incredible,” Slowly he made his way through the sea of garbage covering the floor as he approached the computers.

“Well, I figured it was time to start making a difference,” Pressing one last button as the computers reared to life, “Now, I’ll need some help setting a few things up. I still have a long way to go

“Babs?” He cried out, desperation clear in his voice.

“Yes?” Her relaxed yet confused voice floating down from upstairs. He paused, slumping slightly against the wall as he inhaled deeply before continuing up the stairs

+1

“What is this,” Babs hissed out from behind gritted teeth as she glanced around the room. The door slamming behind her as Dinah stepped into the room, setting the shopping bags down gently and off to the side. All the chairs in the apartment had been moved into more of a group, carefully avoiding the myriad of potted plants scattered throughout the apartment. She felt anger rising up in her chest as she looked at the small group of people all gathered in the apartment. It seemed as if every female vigilante in the city, or Villain for that matter, had been summoned. Slowly she placed her hands back on her wheels. Her face morphing into a cold mask of false calmness. Like a parental figure attempting to figure out how to discipline a child. Or even worse, Tim’s face when a socialite compares him to his mother.

“Listen, Babs,” Dinah said hesitantly, breaking the silence albeit not the tension as she stepped out from behind her and towards the other women.”We have all just been a little concerned recently with everything that’s been going on,” Babs stared at her, glaring daggers as her hands curled up into fists.

“What is this, an intervention? About what? If it’s about the break-in or even overworking know that I am perfectly fine,”

“It’s about Dick,” Selina said calmly, crossing her legs as she looked over at Babs. Leaning back slightly on her hand as she balanced on the stool with ease.

Quickly and before anyone could react she rolled into the next room, darting into the bathroom and slamming the door behind her. She could faintly hear voices and footsteps from outside the door but the sound of her heartbeat pulsing throughout her entire body quickly drowned them out. Her throat felt thick and it almost seemed hard to swallow. The hot tingling feeling pumping up from her chest to disperse down to her fingertips and up through her head. Through shaking fingers, she quickly typed out a message to Jason. A final plea for help. Finally, she could make out Dinah’s voice coming through the door.

“-s it’s me. Listen we want to help ok? But you have to let us. I get that you need a few moments to pull yourself together but we are all here for you,”

“Can’t I just go? That’s an option too,”

“Nope, actually it’s not. I-” She cut off before laughing sharply, “Babs are you on Tumblr?”

“What would make you say that?” She said incredulously as she typed out another post.

“Because I can see you! Ok, nope, sorry that’s it,” Babs frantically typed out one last message as she saw the door handle jiggling. Only seconds later the door flew open to reveal Dinah standing in the doorway with a lockpick still in hand.

“What self-respecting hero travels with a lockpick at all times. Also, side note, why don’t you get a personal Tumblr like the rest of us did?” Slowly she rolled her way out of the bathroom, attempting to look at least somewhat dignified and not like she had just hid in the bathroom to avoid her friends. Hesitantly placing her phone in Dinah’s outstretched hand Babs watched as she quickly typed out something.

“Ok one, every self-respecting hero travels with a lockpick. I know because Kate does. And two, don’t try to change the conversation but I did think about maybe getting one at one point but I don’t know,”

“I said self-respecting hero, so not Kate,” Babs said, raising an eyebrow and glancing up at Dinah slightly. “Plus what would be that harm?” Dinah took in a deep breath before looking back down at Babs, seeming almost exhausted. 

“To be completely honest, nothing. It’s just that Oliver doesn’t think public figures like heroes should have social media. I mean a part of me gets where he is coming from but also when did I start caring about what he thinks?”

“Break up with him,” Pamela stated factually from her chair by the vines she was tending to as everyone looked over at her questioningly. “What? You know I’m right. Jason and Roy think so too. You can do so much better than him,”

“Ok maybe, but we didn’t come here to talk about me,”

“I mean I wouldn’t be opposed to that,” Babs suggested as she rolled to a stop next to the recliner Stephanie was lounging in. Reaching up to jostle Cass who was perched atop the back of the chair. 

“Kate couldn’t come, says hi,” She explained, smiling as she pushed Babs hand away. Squirming slightly in her seat, Stephanie looked up at Babs before looking away. Her eyes are full of regret.

“Hey Babs,”

“Hi Steph,” She said smiling slightly. Attempting to put everything she wanted to say into those few words. She may have messed up, and messed up big. But Babs could see the remorse in her eyes and how much she wanted to change. However, she just sat there.

“Ok, it’s not that I don’t love being around you guys, it’s just that I promised Cullen I would be home in time to watch Friends and trust me when I say that I can’t be late. And I also want to be able to offer as much advice as I can,” Harper said, breaking the slight silence that had fallen over the group. Stephanie leaned forward, grabbing the plate of cookies off of the table.

“Cookie?” She asked, holding the plate out towards Babs.

“I’m good, thanks though,”

“But they’re from Alfred, his way of helping out when he couldn’t really get here,”

“On second thought…” She trailed off smiling slightly as she grabbed one off the side. Dinah took a deep breath before looking over at Babs.

“So I, and I think all of us here, have noticed something going on with you for a long, long time. The look in your eyes when his name is mentioned. Or how I can tell when a notification was from him when I’m out on a mission. You go all quiet and when you speak next it’s almost slow, like you’re trying to focus too much of your energy into the words. Like you’re thinking about something else, even Helena notices it and that says a lot,”

“I do not!” She protested looking over at Cass for help. Pausing for a second as Cass just started back in response, raising an eyebrow slightly. “So what if I do? Doesn’t mean anything,”

“Yeah? And what about the way you seem the most happy around him compared to everyone else in your life? Even if ya’ don’t realize it, your body language screams it,” A voice said from outside one of the apartment's many windows. Everyone watched as a window opened slightly as Harley spilled into the room. Her hair pulled back loosely as strands blew her face, “Sorry I’m late I was just helping someone out. Apparently our Sharky friend isn’t exactly over one of his ex’s. Also, where are my babies?”

“I...well yeah we can all tell. But Harley we have a balcony for a reason. The reason being that you don’t have to climb in through our window,” Pamela sighed, “But you’re actually right on time,”

“Bud and Lou are curled up on Babs bed,” Selina said smirking, “Got a picture,”

“But, I…” Babs sputtered as she looked around the room, attempting to find at least one person who agreed with her. “He has been my friend for years now,”

“Ok,” Harley said, plopping down next to Pamela, “Well then I think the question is, why did you break up with Jason Bard?”

“Whomst?” Harper asked, glancing over to Stephanie for help.

“Wow, I haven’t heard that name since high school. We dated what, my sophomore, junior year? Dated for about a year or so,” Babs explained before laughing slightly, “Longest boyfriend I’ve ever had. Being a scholarship kid in Gotham Academy on top of being Jim Gordon’s daughter didn’t leave me with a ton of options,”

“Why’d you break up with him?” Harper asked, throwing her legs over the side of the chair as she draped herself over the armrest. 

“I was in high school? If I can remember correctly it was just a lot of little things but the main one was that I just sort of felt controlled or restrained. I mean I’m not sure if it was justified but it’s how I felt. Better question, how do you know his name?”

“It’s a long story that involves a lawsuit, restraining order, his cousin, and some Gatorade,” Harley said snorting slightly before comporting herself. “Are you scared of being controlled or pushed around?”

“I’m not about to spill all my emotions unless it’s in a private room and I have HIPPA to back me up,” As she spoke she could feel her jaw clenching and her fingernails connecting uncomfortably with the palm of her hands.

“It’s a rule that states that what you say to a therapist can’t be told to anyone else. A way of protecting what you say, in vaguest terms,” Selina explained as a confused Cass nodded along.

“ ‘M not saying that you need to tell us, you don’t have to tell us anything you honestly don’t want to. But just being honest with yourself will still make a world of a difference,” Harley added quickly, slowly undoing her hair before pulling it back up again, attempting to calm the fly-aways. “But really, how are you feeling?”

“Tired,” She answered hesitantly, thinking over her words before speaking, “I’m tired of trying to choose between my work life and personal life. Then just when I thought I had found something that worked out for both apparently it doesn’t,”

“Your personal life chooses pain?”

“It’s not pain, it’s my life,” She spat, glaring at Dinah, “Dad loved someone once and we all know how that turned out. It’s just better this way,”

“But you’re not her, and you can change your story,” Stephanie added as Pamela nodded along with her.

“Also, it isn’t just yourself you’re hurting, its Dick as well,”

“What about Dick?” Dinah sighed, running her fingers through her hair in exasperation before looking up to Babs confused.

“What about Dick? This whole thing is about Dick! I was perfectly content with just letting you two figure it out on your own. Hell Jason and Roy did it without-”

“Much”

“Right, without much outside force when it came down to it! Beforehand was a mess but they confessed alright. But Babs,” She glanced away from Dinah’s intense gaze, attempting to almost hide by turning her head. “You are both hurting each other, and also the people around you,”

“Dick is fine,” She mumbled, almost inaudibly.

“Lie,” Cass interjected, the smile on her face that was once playful now serious and almost a little sad. Simply shrugging as Babs looked over at her. Slowly she clambered off of the chairs back, walking silently towards the door before turning with a final message, “Fat bastard,” As she shut the door behind her Dinah began again.

“It’s the truth. There is some part of you that can tell what's going on. What’s holding that back?” Taking a deep breath, shaking her head slightly as she looked up at Dinah.

“He said...what he said when it was high tension. Lots of stress and I know we were both full of adrenaline. So what if he didn’t really mean it?” trailing off slightly as her voice threatened to crack. Harper just stared at her, jaw slightly dropped.

“Ok, that’s bullshit,” She stated blatantly, “What is one of the first things you told me about people when I first started out?”

“That the chances of them trying to kill you are pretty high?”

“Well yes, but no!” Harper exclaimed, “You told me that people say how they truly feel when they are filled with adrenaline. So use that to your advantage. I’m not really GOod at iT Because I rarely listen to what They say when They are trying to kill me, but that doesn’t make it not true,” Everyone nodded along as Babs signed, looking up hopefully as Pamela added.

“Why else would he be frantically texting me every day to make sure you’re ok?” Shrugging as everyone looked over at her she continued. “What? Jason gave me his number. See he want to make sure that you’re doing ok but he is too scared to ask,

“So,” She began helplessly, “Where do I even go from here?”

“Where do you want to go?” Harley asked, nodding at Harper who was pointing at her phone and attempting to mouth something that no one could make out. Quickly she scrambled to her feet and darted over to the window, nodding to the group before opening the window. Without a second thought, she launched her body through the window as everyone watched. The sound of scraping along the side of the building indicating that she was ok.

“Look what you’ve done!” Pamela berated, looking lovingly yet also accusatory at Harpely who simply grinned in response.

“Well I’ve got to head out as well,” Dinah said, pulling herself to her feet and stretching her arms out. “I’ve got to go meet Helena for a short little recon mission,”

“Do you need help?” Babs offered, looking up hopefully.

“Nope! Recon only and one, it’s almost closer to Star City so I’ve really got to get going and two, you’re supposed to be resting. Take some time. Maybe...text Dick?” She slumped against her chair as Dinah waved slightly, opening the door and entering into the dimly lit hallway.

“They’re going to blow something up,” Babs stated dryly as she shook her head.

“I can go too, well if you needed me too,” Steph offered, “To make sure they’ll be ok?”

“Thanks Steph, but I’m sure they will be fine. Wherever they are doing this so-called ‘brief recon mission’ not so much. Feel free to take the night off, it’s been a rough couple of weeks with crime and I’m sure you could use some relaxing. Grab Tim as well, if Bruce has a problem with it just tell him to call me. Although I know Alfred won’t mind,” Smiling slightly as she stood she began to make her way to the door. Pamela glared slightly at her as her eyes flickered between the door and the window slightly.

“I wasn’t going to do anything, I was just a little curious,” She said laughing before she paused, looking back over her shoulder. “Umm, Harley?”

“Hmm?”

“You should go back into psychology,” Steph mumbled slightly, wringing her hands together, “You’re still really good, never lost your touch,” 

“Oh,” Harley said, smiling slightly, “Thanks,”

“Just the truth, night guys,”

“Night Steph,” Pamela called after her jokingly as the door shut behind her. 

“She’s right you know. If you wanted to go back into it, you know you would have dozens of people you have your back. Now, If you will excuse me,” Babs said, turning her chair towards the guest room where she was staying, “I’ve got something that I need to take care of,” Nodding slightly as she shut the door behind her. Pulling out her phone slowly as she took a deep breath. Her finger hovering just over his name before she clicked it. Then, she began to write.


End file.
